38| What I Learned From Giving Up Porn and Masturbation for 8+ Years
Today's topic is somewhat of a personal, taboo one, so I was initially a bit hesitant to cover it but decided that it was too important not to. I am sharing with you my journey of how and why I gave up watching pornography, which I gave up nearly a decade ago. Joining me in this discussion is my friend Danny Miranda, who I asked to come on to the show because of his adept skill at asking questions and interviewing people. He, again, helps me tackle the hows and whys behind my having given up masturbation and watching pornography and what kinds of effects that that has had on my brain, how I perceive women, and my life in general.
Listen in as I touch upon what event in my life prompted me to realize that I needed to stop watching pornography and masturbating and how I was using it not necessarily to physically pleasure myself but more so as an emotional crutch and coping mechanism. I touch upon the changes and benefits that I noticed in my life when I initially decided to give it up, and I also offer up some tips and advice to anyone who, as I did, is starting to realize that watching porn is detrimental to their lives, as well as some tips on how to find a significant other!
I emphasize that if you do wish to get rid of a negative habit such as getting off to porn, you want to replace that habit with something that you also benefit from, or else you're just going to leave a vacuum. I really hope that this episode is helpful for you, and I am so thankful that you tuned in and am also grateful to Danny for his time! If you like this episode and want to hear more, please be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that, in the future, whenever a new episode comes out, you'll know right away! I would also appreciate it if you would share the podcast with someone you know who might also like it!
Time Stamps
1:58 – The topic today is Dan's journey of giving up pornography.
2:31 – We are introduced to this episode's guest, Dan's friend Danny Miranda.
5:02 – Dan reveals why he felt the need to talk about this on the podcast.
7:07 – Discover when Dan realized that he needed to stop watching porn.
9:48 – Dan touches upon how watching porn became a cyclical habit for him.
12:48 – Dan initially gave himself a two-week challenge abstaining from pornography.
13:42 – Dan discusses the immediate changes that he noticed during those two weeks.
15:04 – Dan noticed that his perception of women was changing.
18:09 – Danny and Dan marvel at how children aren't warned against porn like they are drugs.
20:33 – How do we know when too much porn is too much porn?
23:50 – Dan offers advice on the first step to take to eliminate pornography.
26:30 – We are encouraged to tailor our environment so that it's most beneficial to us.
27:27 – Dan gives us more specific advice on journaling.
30:22 – Dan explains how he redirects the energy that he used to spend on porn.
32:20 – Learn what happened after Dan's initial fourteen-day challenge.
34:58 – Discover how Dan abstaining from masturbation made his experiences with women better.
37:12 – Danny Miranda explains what he means by delta.
38:30 – Dan talks about the sexualized culture that we live in.
41:32 – Dan argues that too much is based on status, wealth, and appearance.
44:50 – Dan mentions a friend of his who has been influential for him.
47:56 – How has Dan's relationship with his wife been impacted by his abstaining from porn?
50:26 – Dan discusses his love of commitment.
52:40 – There is shame that comes along with watching pornography, Dan points out.
55:13 – Hear Dan give advice on finding a significant other.
57:30 – Learn how Dan's views on marriage changed.
1:00:30 – Dan shares the most important question to ask when trying to find a significant other.
1:02:26 – Dan reflects back on starting his first business.
1:05:28 – How did Dan meet his wife?
1:08:18 – Dan reveals that his wife had messaged him before he did without his realizing.
1:09:48 – There were two to three years between Dan quitting porn and meeting his wife.
1:12:23 – Dan leaves us with some closing thoughts.
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